Self Contraditaire

I was about to blog last night, in all my depression. But decided not to, coz' I'll just contradict myself in the morning.

And true enough, it's morning, and when I think back to what I had to say yesterday night, when the events of awesome sadness had just transpired, I had changed whatever I was thinking of. Or rather, the way I look at things have changed.

By the way, yesterday, on my way to the hospital, I missed the exit. I don't know why I did. Must've been daydreaming or something. I went out the expressway on the next turn, which was at Tampines. As I travelled to detour to CGH, my bike broke down. Same way as it did few days back. I thought, it's the spark plug for sure.

But the lucky thing is, I was a few blocks, more of streets actually, away from the tampines industrial estate, with all the bike shops there. So I pushed the bike all the way there. Then I asked them to repair, stating the spark plug as the problem.

How sad I was when they said the spark plug's ok. They'll have to investigate the problem, and I had to leave the bike there yesterday. It was so sad. I'd had plans for the night, and the next morning. And all of them are now off. What I expected during the first repair, ie to spend over 200 bucks, might actually just come true.

Fuck.

So yesterday night, in all the immense pits of my life, I thought... this is the only way I could realise what I was doing. When all chips are down, the clouds clear up and you could see how high the sky actually is. How low you stand on the earth. Because ever so often I forget. I keep on forgetting even though some tremendous force on earth hit me now and then to remind me of the meaning of life. And then like the waves of a tsunami, it receedes as quickly as it comes. And I forget again. So to pick myself up from the distress, I turned my attention to the things I've always neglected over the weeks, months, years...

At least I could sleep with a sound piece of mind, not thinking of the bike. ~@

Morning came, I couldn't sleep past 730 am. So I woke up, and was reminded of the bike. ~@. And as I've said before, I keep forgetting. I had intended to change the direction of my life yesterday night, pertaining to the shit that had happened to me recently. Now, I only had hopes that once my bike is repaired, I'll go ~@ and go back to the same things. Same focuses, and same priorities.

So long.